THE ART OF COMMUNICATION.

How Well Do You Communicate?

Communication is essential to achieve successful human interactions. However, the type of communication we have highly determines the outcome of our relationships. It all simply boils down to how we are connecting with each other.

We think that we have successful communication with others. In fact, we only have successful miscommunication without being aware of it.

Truth be told, most of the discussions we have with others aren’t really mindful. Mindful discussion means shedding attention and awareness on our words — it’s rarely what we do, as our ego is consistently involved.

How one Learned to Communicate Successfully

1. Listen

 Listening is the first step toward mindful communication. To mindfully listen means to wait patiently for the other person to finish before we speak. Also, it means keeping our mind focused on the speaker, instead of wandering away. A good communicator listens for 75% time of the conversation and does 25% of talking. Make eye contact and use appropriate body language to show you hear what he/she is saying, such as an encouraging nod or a sympathetic shake of the head. Give your friend the opportunity to talk without interruption and when he or she has finished, reflect back what you have heard.

“Most Of The Successful People Known Are The Ones Who Do More Listening Than Talking.” 

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." Effective communications starts with listening.

2.Practise non-judgment

There are always two sides to the story, and neither one of them is necessarily right or wrong. People who are in conflict or in disagreement tend to judge each other during communication. Even when we are on good terms with others, we unconsciously judge them because we don’t see their side of the story.

To mindfully converse and avoid conflicts, we need to try our best to refrain from judging the other person’s opinion, story or perspective. We should come to terms with the fact that there is no wrong or right, only different perceptions.

3. Show understanding

The importance of showing others that we understand them. A doctor clarified how he uses this technique with his patients. When they tell him their issues, the first thing he says is, “I understand” or “I see what you mean.” It gives them a sense of comfort that their words and feelings are relatable.

You see, at the end of the day, we just want to be understood. Applying the non-judgment technique above allows us to see the bigger picture, and in doing so, helps us to understand their perspective.

4. Put yourself in their shoes

To be ‘in someone else’s shoes’ is to respect their experience by imagining it’s us instead of them.

When we do this, we develop a better idea of what they’re feeling. We don’t have to wait for them to ask us if we’re getting what they’re saying. What I do is imagine myself in the experience of the other person, which helps me – again – to cultivate understanding.

5. Be totally there

Not being present during communication can range from checking smart phones, watching TV or engaging in anything else during the actual discussion. To have a successful communication, we should put our activities aside and totally be with the person who’s talking.

6. The first response shouldn’t be personal

Most of us do it unconsciously. When it’s time to respond back, we tend to reply with a personal answer. We either tell a personal story or explain how we intimately feel about it. While it’s significant to back up our response with personal feelings and stories, it’s better not to express them at first.

I learned the hard way that the first response must relate to the speaker. “I understand” — as mentioned earlier — can be a good place to start. Then we can ask the person how they feel about it, what they are going to do, or ask them to elaborate.

7. Don’t harm. 

Harsh speech is one of the most important precepts in Buddhism.   enjoyed the most   Buddhism insists on remaining kind and compassionate with other people during communication.

It is not necessary to harm others when we are talking to them. Buddhists believe that every harmful word that comes out of our mouths is a double-edged sword; it will hurt us as much as it will hurt others.

Real communication is a creative process. Human beings evolve only through interaction

Effective communication is needed to build and maintain a healthy, solid foundation for a friendship. To communicate well, we need to know how to listen, build trust and deal with any issues that may cause tension.  In fact it is said that any of the problems that occur between two individuals or say in any organization are the direct result of people failing to communicate or communicating ineffectively.

• Face up to conflict: Arguments between friends can be healthy, provided they are dealt with in the right way. Bickering, getting defensive and avoiding the issue entirely are not healthy ways to deal with conflict. Talking about the problem with your friend is the only way to reach a resolution. If both of your concerns are addressed, the effective resolution of the conflict will strengthen your existing bond.